Holiday in May

Summer is on the doorstep!

This is how I found them Monday morning. We slept in, the kids played board games. It's a love story. 

Today is the kids' last day of school/daycare. They can't wait, not only to be on their break, but to be able to spend every waking hour together.

Examining a worm at the Price House. There will be many more days like this for them very soon!

They go straight from their last days into their dress rehearsal (tonight) for the dance recital (tomorrow). Expect at least a few pictures coming very soon of costumed kids, and video clips of their numbers being performed on the Big Stage.

Last week was Pentecost. I enjoyed teaching Children's Chapel that day on the subject, "Pentecost is Best Celebrated Outside." Pentecost is the season when we go outside our comfort zones, full of the Holy Spirit, to meet people who are different from us-- and, miraculously, be able to speak to them and understand them in return.

Even ragdoll Jesus, who lives in the chapel room, knows to wear red for Pentecost

That evening, we attended this miraculous ecumenical Pentecost service (incidentally, the service was held in the street, outside) that included several of the churches on our street: Episcopal, African Methodist Episcopal, Church of God and United Methodist. The Methodists led a hymn sing, the Church of God pastor did a lot of extemporaneous praying, the AME pastor preached the sermon (whooo what a sermon) and the Episcopal church led the Eucharist and I got to help serve it! That was one of the more moving church services of my life, certainly.

I made Pentecost crowns for all the little kids.

And for some of the big ones!

Monday gave us a family day, which we needed badly! We took a leisurely hike and picnic at a park. There were waterfalls and caves at the park, but for some reason, I liked the meadow best. 

We're still waiting, by the way, for any positive news about jobs. I've started to look at apartments and houses for rent here in town, just for something to do. Some we can afford at our current income level, some we can't. I think what bothers me most is the way other people respond when I tell them I don't know if I'll be here next year, or that we're moving but I don't know where. Unless I tell the whole story, I feel like they think I'm just flaky. When I'm actually consumingly obsessed with the question, and terribly stressed out that it has no answer. It's started to wake me up at night, and in the mornings. I covet prayers, either for Helpful Developments or for my own sanity in the uncertainty. 

Last night I said to Miles, "I am really having a hard time being patient to know where we'll live next year. Let's pray that we find out soon." After a bit of thought, I corrected, "Actually, let's pray that Mum has more patience." And Miles said, "You are patient, mum." And I just want to wear those words around my neck. For as long as it takes. 

Adrenaline

Last week was our end of the year Staff Appreciation Day. That was my 5th one, but the first time I've been able to get together a team to do the Adrenaline Maze! I've been longing to do it for years. 

Here we are, matching t-shirts that we made with iron-ons and all, The SSD Avengers!

Here is our mighty foe: 

My new office-mate, Liann, has been such a blessing this year. We walk and do yoga during lunch, and just chat and support each other. I know she's improved my mental health and encouraged me a lot. The two of us cooked up the shirts and the team name, and together we twisted arms until we had enough team members. She and I went over to the event early to get a feel for the maze, to maximize our chance of winning. I love her. 

Here we are, pre-competition: 

We had to run it 3 times, since we kept winning each bracket!! We improved our time every time we ran it. 

Video below. Skip ahead by 30 seconds or so; she started filming a bit early. But that was, undoubtedly, the best few minutes of my week last week. 

Because we won! The first place trophy is ours! 

This is the stuff that gives life, man. I want more adrenaline in my life. One of the things anxiety does is to convince me that I'm weak. I love every opportunity to prove it wrong.

Transition

Jon graduated (again) this past Saturday! He received his third master's degree, an MS in Science and Technology Studies, and had his approved dissertation topic read in public, to a lot of interested-sounded murmuring.

It was a small ceremony, as the program is small and many don't attend the graduation, in "informal" in the sense that absolute quiet wasn't maintained and we didn't wear suits, but the kids' monkey business still stuck out pretty dramatically. They were the only kids there, by the way. I was about at my wits end by the time it was Jon's turn, and he went up to receive his degree only to be interrupted first by Miles, who ran up to him just to flash him a thumbs-up and return to me (Jon & his adviser react to this below)..

...and Adele, who ran up to Jon shortly after this picture was taken and just sucked her thumb and clung to his leg. He rolled with it. As he's always done.

He actually finished the work for this degree months ago, but it was something to take some time and acknowledge this point. While climbing a mountain, you sometimes stop before you get to the top to enjoy the view from that height, while knowing it isn't the destination. We did that. We breathed, and talked, and thought. 

You may or may not know this, reader, but Jon's been applying to jobs all year. We don't know, obviously, but we think we're ready for another stage, one where Jon works at a job that can further his career, and I can transition into something that will further mine (namely, finishing my MA). It seems like time, since he can now work on his dissertation somewhat independently. So there have been about 25 applications this year (compare to 2009's 40 or so) and only a few nibbles and a few negative responses. The majority haven't communicated anything at all. I had a great deal more patience for this a month ago, but now I am becoming quite distracted.

We're hoping to hear about another step soon, now that most graduations are over (all are jobs at universities). There are a few jobs here, there are a couple in NYS we're waiting to hear from, and many in other places entirely. But in the meantime, everything is suspended. I can't make plans. I'm even having trouble committing to things in June, even though probably we wouldn't need to move until late July. I just can't think about this summer at all. It's too uncomfortable. The lease is up and we're being ejected from this condo (which was just sold) on August 1. We're moving somewhere. We just don't know where. And having been on the inside of several university search committees, I know how they drag their feet and don't communicate with candidates. But it's becoming a burden on my peace of mind. 

We could also find ourselves back here, doing the same job and assistantship and at the same sort of level in life as this year. We have mixed feelings about this possibility. 

Won't you pray with us?

O to be a Hahn Horticulture Gardens fish. Fish don't have these problems. 

We lingered in the garden, playing and taking a breath together.

Our priest preached a sermon on Sunday which spoke to us powerfully. He referred to a piece of writing by Danaan Parry, which was a parable about transitions in which he uses trapeze artists as an analogy. Speaking of transition times, he writes,

Each time it happens, I hope - no, I pray - that I won't have to grab the new one. But deep down I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar, and for some moments in time I must hurtle across space before I can grab the new bar. Each time I am filled with terror. It doesn't even matter that in all my previous hurtles I've always made it.

...But I do it anyway. I must.

Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call faith. No guarantees, no net, no insurance, but I do it anyway because somehow, to keep hanging on to that old bar is no longer an option. And so for an eternity that can last a microsecond or a thousand lifetimes, I soar across the dark void of "the past is over, the future is not yet here". It's called a transition. I've come to believe that it is the only place that real change occurs.

It was a message we needed to hear. I felt both challenged and comforted, which is probably how sermons should affect the listener. 

So I apologize if we look at you blankly or go unresponsive if you try to make plans with us. I promise you, when we know what's going on for sure, you'll hear about it. When we even have an inkling, we'll share it with some of you. But right now? we know nothing, Jon Snow. 

We'll try to get more comfortable with that. 

Mothering

Mother's Day Weekend was a bright spot for me. Saturday morning the kids had their dance recital rehearsal and photos. I was holding back, but I'll post a couple of preview pics, since I'm not sure how the actual recital day will go.

The theme of this year's recital is "games" and obviously, musical chairs is much better played when you're dressed like this:

Miles' class is doing Super Mario Brothers! 

Fortunately, they recruited another boy to play Mario, a part which Miles vehemently refused. But playing Toad means he gets to wear a sparkly vest, so he's somehow content with this. 

I'll try to get a video. Their dances are adorable! And they made my morning by being unusually patient and industrious in their practices. It's been great fun, this year of dance lessons. 

Sunday morning I got a breakfast of nutella waffles with bacon. Spot-on perfect! Thanks Jon! 

After church, we strolled up to the Price House to check the progress of the irises. They're on their way, but not in full bloom yet. Still, I love a stroll in that yard; we have a lot of memories there. 

Jon getting silly with Adele's dino

"Stop fooling around everyone, and line up!"

That's better. 

A few irises were in bloom

Brunch on the roof at Boudreaux! 

In the evening, there was a long stroll at the duck pond. Miles' Chinese school had an end of the year event, and I felt strongly that we should go. Traditionally, things involving the kids that I feel we should attend have a power I cannot resist. But, it was Mother's Day, and I did not feel like it. (Actually, I was coming down with a flu & didn't know it, but that's another story). Anyway, we skipped the event and went for a calm walk at the duck pond.

I mean, as calm as these guys get:

We should do this more often.

Here are favorite pages of my Mom Book that Miles made for me in kindergarten.

"When my mom is driving she sumtims gos the rong way." It's a fact, and a family joke. I do. 

Also true, and I love the illustration. 

Mothering these two is a privilege and an inestimable gift. Becoming a parent is like being able to see colors you could never see before. Magic. I'm so grateful.

Even when they develop ear infections when you already have the flu. Even then.

Every year, I have different feelings about not having this lady in my life on Mother's Day. 

This year, I was mainly annoyed. I should be able to consult her. I should be on the phone with her, teaching her to skype, making summer plans. I'd like to close with something philosophic, but there is no acceptable philosophy for making untimely loss all right. 

God bless all who grieve. That's all. 

Tra la! It's May!

May's kickoff weekend was packed with fun!

Friday evening found us at the Valley Interfaith Childcare Center (Adele's daycare, and Miles' former daycare) for their end of the semester family "picnic." The rain on Friday made it an indoor picnic, but didn't do anything to diminish the little ones' enjoyment.

Adele and Maisy, still best orange room girlfriends

Meanwhile, Miles was reunited with his bestie, Aaliyah. They hardly stood still long enough for a picture; in minutes they were once again thick as thieves and capering all over the room.

Daycare 1-year reunion

We had to scurry from that event to drop Papa and Adele off so that Miles and I could attend the "Boys' Night Out" held at his school. The event was a combination dance, dinner and playdate for the  elementary boys and their adults. And the theme? Cowboys!

That's his hat I brought from Guatemala

Miles with one of his preschool and now kindergarten buddies, Jackson. 

Saturday morning found us, as usual, at the dance studio. The kids were having a dress rehearsal for their recital, coming at the end of the month. I got to see the costumes, and I'm going to wait for their official pictures (which will be taken next weekend) to post photos, but just take my word for it... these costumes are dangerously adorable.

After dance, we attended Virgina Tech YMCA's Healthy Kids Event held in the athletic portion of campus. Leadership at the event included a lot of Virginia Tech's Corps of Cadets members. I have never felt so warmly toward them as I do this week!

Cadets led games, crafts, bubble contests, kite-flying lessons and helped kids all day long to learn and play at this event. They were superior role models on Saturday!

Miles in his pink shirt got called "she" quite a lot. He rolled with it. 

Ships and Sailors is Miles and Adele's new favorite game!

Miles' facepaint: "Make me a ladybug!"

Adele: "My favorite animal is a sheep." 

The kids saw the kite flying and were begging me to let them fly kites. I wasn't sure they'd be able to get or keep them in the air, so I was hesitating, but these guys stepped in to teach them for me. I got a break and they got to fly! Thanks, cadets!

Miles kept up a running pace for probably 15 minutes

Sunday morning was church, of course. I got to read the epistle lesson from 1 John on love, which was a huge honor. After church, the kids and I had a wedding to get to! Lisa is the administrative assistant in my office and she's a kind, strong, warm-hearted person I've come to love. I am so happy to see her so happy with her new husband.

The sunshine on the rural Southwest Virginia landscape made the perfect backdrop. Afterwards there was barbecue, music and dancing! The kids were thrilled when they played The Twist, and Miles jumped up at the end to do the Cha-Cha Slide with the bridesmaids. Nothing like a May wedding in the country for a reason to celebrate!

At church, a woman who is frustrated with the lack of superhero clothes for girls has started making superhero skirts for her daughter. On Sunday, she gave one to Adele, who has long admired Claire's skirts. She wore it all day Monday without having accidents in it, so I'm quite willing that she should wear it again today.

"HulkSMASH" is her favorite, of course. 

Meanwhile, back at work for the last week of classes, spring is beginning to resemble summer. And I spotted the first crop of ducklings!

Today marks five years since the day in 2010 that we learned we'd be moving to Blacksburg. I'm considering making it a family holiday.