For the love that from our birth/ over and around us lies

This is our 400th post.

A few weeks ago, I lost the third grandparent in just over a year. My Grandma Peg was so special to me, and since I hadn't seen her since last December, I was pretty upset by the news. But the blessing in it was that we were able to make the funeral, unlike with the last two losses. I'm so grateful for last weekend.

Early Friday morning we were off.

It's a 9 hour drive without rest stops.

Of course, there were rest stops. 

Another reason I looked forward to going up was for the foliage. I hadn't been to Rochester in October (historically my favorite month) since college. But coincidentally, due to a freakishly warm September, the Rochester area was having an unusually late foliage season; peak leaf color is still a couple weeks away up there. The best leaf color we saw was actually in northern Pennsylvania:

It was a sunny morning but startlingly cold that we had for the funeral. Before the interment for Grandma and Grandpa, we had a moment at my mom's. 

It's been nearly 14 years. She and Grandma have a lot of catching up to do. 

Sunflowers remind me of her. 

The churchyard looked really lovely.

Now this plot contains Grandpa Ben, Grandma Peg, Uncle Benjy and Mom. Too many, really.

The funeral was lovely, just lovely. Grandma Peg would have loved it. We sang her down the road with a mighty chorus, and afterward we shared our favorite memories of her. She was a whip-smart, witty, spirited lady. In her I got to see how strong a woman can be and be loved so tenderly by a gentle-hearted man.

Afterwards I had a look at some old pictures I'd not seen before.

Grandma is on the right; her big sister, "Beautiful Aunt Jane," is on the left. 

1940s sometime. 

with her baby.

With Grandpa Ben; wartime.

Mom watches her paint her nails. 

Mom takes a stroll with Grandma many years later. 

What a strange thing life is, and what marvelous creatures we are, were my thoughts that day. If we're lucky, we begin our lives with faces smiling over us, welcoming, blessing, with hearts expanding with a powerful new love. We live surrounded by fellow travellers, enfolded within families, if we are lucky. And, if we are lucky, we die knowing ourselves near to people who love us too, if differently. And over our bodies family and friends assemble, compelled by love to address the loss and acknowledge the hole our beloved self has left, and look down at us once more, at our parting. What a thing is humankind.

It's a good thing love extends beyond death, or this love and connection would have nowhere to go.

At the reception I was in conversation with extended family and friends when I'm disturbed by my son's crying: "My tooth feels weird." We ducked into the room, gave it a pull, and just like that, my boy lost his first baby tooth. Right there in the church, after the funeral. Does life never stop?

 

After the funeral, we had a birthday party for my darling nephew Aiden! Because we are still in life, still persisting in life.

There was cake, presents, triangle hats. Candles. Love, Music. Life. 

We give children gifts, we adults, and still manage to feel like the lucky ones. Right in the middle of this strange miracle. 

I know I'm getting soft and mushed. You couldn't help but be sentimental on such a day. I saw my cousin Joel, my brother, my nephew, countless family and old friends for the first time in years. Grandma Peg had that one more gift to give us all. And I'm just so grateful.