Alive and well

After I get help for my anxiety, I found I had to get better at saying no. This is a skill, I have found, that many people haven't developed. I tried to simplify my life and give myself permission to pass on invitations and opportunities that might have worried me or needlessly complicated life. I became more internally focused and chose to accept more and strive less.

I am in much better shape, now. But interestingly, a lot of what is speeding this recovery is the things I have been gradually been saying "yes" to, and letting into my life. I have been taking classes during the school year since last spring. This fall I took on teaching Children's Chapel and signed up to be an occasional lector at church. I'm applying for the graduate program, and all year I've been getting up early to do yoga.

Just this past spring, I went on my first run in about 7 years.

My OneWord for 2014 was "Alive." I want to do things that make me feel alive. as well as things that soothe. And running always did make me feel my blood hum.

When my friend AK reminded me about the Remembrance Run , a fun run 5K that commemorates the 32 killed on April 16, 2007, my first reaction was, oh dear, she confuses me with a runner. Just because I've gone running twice since about 2007, doesn't mean I have any business doing 5ks! But then I remembered my resolution. When Jon said he wouldn't mind taking Miles and Adele to the pool for Miles' lesson, I was free to say yes. With some trepidation, and also some pride in my own daring... I registered.

AK was my bravery buddy.

We had a perfectly lovely day for it: sunny, and at this early hour, about 58 degrees. Perfect.

I took the camera with me on the run, as there was no where else to stash it. Still, I got a few chances to use it.

The starting line arch had 32 white balloons for the 32 Hokies lost in 2007. We ran 3.2 miles to remember them. The race began with a moment of silence....

And then, the sign turned to "run with caution" and we were off!

I actually got a lot of confidence once I saw the 1 mile mark. I knew then I could probably do this.

When my group of slower-paced runners got to the stadium section, we bottle-necked and had to walk a bit. I snapped a few pictures:

Here we are heading into the tunnel where the football players enter.

...and coming out again.

I didn't get a picture, but Hokie Bird was on the other side, giving high fives.

The view in the stadium

When we came around the final bend, I heard someone say, "almost there!" I laughed inside because I was so sure we had at least another mile to go. I missed the 2 and 3 mile signs somehow. But when I realized we were heading straight into the finish, I did find plenty of energy for a sprint.

I ran continuously whenever it was possible to run (not when I was stopping at one of two water stations, or when we bottle-necked at the stadium, obviously). It. felt. great.

AK met me at the finish. She was doing 8 minute miles! I am inspired.

I was a bit sore and tired the rest of the weekend, but also thrilled and uplifted. I want to do it again!

Saturday evening, we accepted an invite to visit our church friends for dinner.

They live on a real live farm. Cows walk by their house. There is a henhouse with real hens. Legit.

Adele liked the swing best.

Spring is really beginning to show!

Miles obligingly pushed his sister for a while.

It was just such a breathlessly gorgeous weekend.

Our friends' son, Amos, is 21 months old. My kids got to make pretty free use of his toys; he got to pretend to have two big siblings for a few hours. Everyone wins?

Isn't Amos gorgeous?

It was one of those evenings you can't help staying out irresponsibly late. There was ice cream, beer, and a totally childproof back porch... How are we supposed to leave before sundown??

Palm Sunday. Otherwise known as, Resurrection Garden Preparation Sunday.

We can't wait to use this as a centerpiece for our Sunday dinner!

They love church so much.

Here's another for our handholding at the library series.

Sunday felt like May; it felt like spring fever and senioritis and glory.

I had a rough time going back to work.

I got to sit at my ease on a park bench while Miles read one of our new library books to Adele. Magic.

Our library's garden, simple as it is, is one of our favorite spots in town.

We had a merry frolic on Sunday evening, and I could soak in just a little more of this very alive weekend.

Miles took this one.

There's nothing like spring after all for coming back to life.

Speaking of resurrection...

We are expecting a beautiful conclusion to Holy Week, starting with a visit from Grandpa Jim! To be continued...

My Sunshine

 I recently read that children laugh around 300 times a day. When I compare that to what I observe among adults, it's a grim difference. Joy and laughter heal us; we know this. But adults' laugh buttons just aren't as sensitive as children's. What do we do?

For me, the answer is to spend time with kids. Their jokes may not be sophisticated, but their enjoyment and their laughter is infectious. I feel so grateful to have these constant laugh factories in my life. May God make me more like them, so that I, too, can enter the joyful kingdom.

Miles kicking off the Week of the Young Child at his preschool

"Grey skies? Who cares!"

Miles' Lego "horse." He was so proud of his design. 

 Speaking of pride:

 For these guys, I'm willing to shake up my routine, and do things that take me out of my way or which get me out early when I might not have done without them. I attend town events and school events and kids' swim classes, which often (though not always) end up being surprise joy bombs in life.

Case in point: we made a stop last week at a local business which was hosting a gallery of art done by the kids at the Valley Interfaith Childcare Center, where Miles & Adele go to daycare. It was a pain to get there; parking downtown at that hour always painful. But once we got in? So much fun! We met the owners of the business (I got to thank them for hosting the kids' art). We got to meet the English Bulldog who lives at the office. We got to see the colorful art. And the kids got to be fussed over a bit for being artists.

 And I got to see another side of my town, and feel even more connected to it, were that possible.

We got more out of the stop than a the pictures, is what I'm saying.

 April is setting in and getting comfortable. The world is in an ecstasy of blossoms and buds, birdsong and sunshine. This sunset was so angelic; I wanted to remember it.

 Before drop-off in the morning, I get one more moment in with my family. Jon and I can make one more joke; Miles can spin one more fantasy, Adele... well, you'll see.

He's in stripes for "Stripes and Dots" day at Preschool. My little dandy *would* pick a striped tie.

 At first, Adele is somber.

 Then we reminded her of her new trick:

Why do kids love to do this??

Doesn't matter why. Everyone is laughing now. Every day should begin this way.

April, Come She Will

I have been lagging in my blogging. Our lives have been a series of routines and everyday doings, nothing that has seemed notable. But Spring has blown in this week with the coming of April, and now even the everyday seems festive, or is at least tinged with the excitement particular to Spring.

So here are a few things which have been occupying us.

First, I've managed to get Miles into a swim class, something I've been meaning to do for a long time. Having grown up making regular trips to Lake Ontario, with a pool in our backyard at first and then a community pool to which I always had access, I am not used to having to go out of my way for swimming opportunities. But Miles' experience has been different, and I found I was going to have to enroll him in a class if I wanted to make sure he could swim.

I remember being astounded as a child that my Grandma had never learned to swim. I'm a little better able to understand how easy it would be to avoid learning! But I am determined they will both be water babies, as I was.

Miles is in a regular Saturday "minnows" class. Don't be fooled by his solemnity here; he's loved both sessions from start to finish. He gets this big silly grin as soon as he gets his body in the shallow end.

Practicing blowing bubbles

He's been so proud of himself!

Bad luck for Adele; the class for her age group is full. She will have to content herself with ruling over an army of sea creatures (a souvenir from our National Aquarium trip) in the bath. She knows ALL of their names by sight (from Right Whale to Beluga, from Whale Shark to Sting Ray).

"That's Marine Queen to you, soldier!!"

 

In other news, I had perhaps the greatest Tuesday at my job to date last week, when an interpreter colleague got me into Emmanuel Jal's performance AND sneaked me backstage to meet him after the show! 

You guys, I was overcome at shaking this man's hand. Jal's message is so inspirational. He was a child soldier in South Sudan, has lost most of his family to that war, and has seen some of the worst things a person can see on this planet, yet he has so much joy and purpose. He told the roomful of listening middle school students that they, too, could be peace soldiers if they educated themselves and learned to love and forgive. I really recommend his music and his ted talk, and that you all see him if he's ever in your town! Emmanuel had some questions for Marcy about American Sign Language (he could see her pretty well), He's really into yoga, and supports and promotes the non-profit, Africa Yoga Project.  So he and I got to chat about the benefits of yoga. Then he found out each of us had multiple children and were working full time too and he said, "Wow. Respect. Women are so strong. They are goddesses, really."

I made sure to remark that I'd find life a good deal harder without my equal partner husband.

 

It snowed about 4 inches the day that Emmanuel Jal came to Blacksburg, that 25th of March. Winter held on ferociously. It made one last offensive on Sunday and gave us a dusting of snow.

March 30th.

Still, we knew its days were numbered, with a confidence I'm not sure my dear Rochesterians have been able to feel, with their 8" on the ground!

Take heart, New Yorkers. Spring is coming. Aslan is on the move. 

Down here we have had two straight days of temperatures over 70 degrees. It has been intoxicating; it is like living inside a miracle.

Remember that shot of the snow on these mountains from a couple of weeks ago? We have a bit of a different view these days!

Trees were white and pink and purple today that were bare and colorless just yesterday.

We have blossoming trees, people!

Look! Buds!

The daffodils are here to stay.

The duck pond is getting a bit pastel.

What's that, green in a deciduous tree??

See if you can spot the dandelion next to the brook.