Alive and well

After I get help for my anxiety, I found I had to get better at saying no. This is a skill, I have found, that many people haven't developed. I tried to simplify my life and give myself permission to pass on invitations and opportunities that might have worried me or needlessly complicated life. I became more internally focused and chose to accept more and strive less.

I am in much better shape, now. But interestingly, a lot of what is speeding this recovery is the things I have been gradually been saying "yes" to, and letting into my life. I have been taking classes during the school year since last spring. This fall I took on teaching Children's Chapel and signed up to be an occasional lector at church. I'm applying for the graduate program, and all year I've been getting up early to do yoga.

Just this past spring, I went on my first run in about 7 years.

My OneWord for 2014 was "Alive." I want to do things that make me feel alive. as well as things that soothe. And running always did make me feel my blood hum.

When my friend AK reminded me about the Remembrance Run , a fun run 5K that commemorates the 32 killed on April 16, 2007, my first reaction was, oh dear, she confuses me with a runner. Just because I've gone running twice since about 2007, doesn't mean I have any business doing 5ks! But then I remembered my resolution. When Jon said he wouldn't mind taking Miles and Adele to the pool for Miles' lesson, I was free to say yes. With some trepidation, and also some pride in my own daring... I registered.

AK was my bravery buddy.

We had a perfectly lovely day for it: sunny, and at this early hour, about 58 degrees. Perfect.

I took the camera with me on the run, as there was no where else to stash it. Still, I got a few chances to use it.

The starting line arch had 32 white balloons for the 32 Hokies lost in 2007. We ran 3.2 miles to remember them. The race began with a moment of silence....

And then, the sign turned to "run with caution" and we were off!

I actually got a lot of confidence once I saw the 1 mile mark. I knew then I could probably do this.

When my group of slower-paced runners got to the stadium section, we bottle-necked and had to walk a bit. I snapped a few pictures:

Here we are heading into the tunnel where the football players enter.

...and coming out again.

I didn't get a picture, but Hokie Bird was on the other side, giving high fives.

The view in the stadium

When we came around the final bend, I heard someone say, "almost there!" I laughed inside because I was so sure we had at least another mile to go. I missed the 2 and 3 mile signs somehow. But when I realized we were heading straight into the finish, I did find plenty of energy for a sprint.

I ran continuously whenever it was possible to run (not when I was stopping at one of two water stations, or when we bottle-necked at the stadium, obviously). It. felt. great.

AK met me at the finish. She was doing 8 minute miles! I am inspired.

I was a bit sore and tired the rest of the weekend, but also thrilled and uplifted. I want to do it again!

Saturday evening, we accepted an invite to visit our church friends for dinner.

They live on a real live farm. Cows walk by their house. There is a henhouse with real hens. Legit.

Adele liked the swing best.

Spring is really beginning to show!

Miles obligingly pushed his sister for a while.

It was just such a breathlessly gorgeous weekend.

Our friends' son, Amos, is 21 months old. My kids got to make pretty free use of his toys; he got to pretend to have two big siblings for a few hours. Everyone wins?

Isn't Amos gorgeous?

It was one of those evenings you can't help staying out irresponsibly late. There was ice cream, beer, and a totally childproof back porch... How are we supposed to leave before sundown??

Palm Sunday. Otherwise known as, Resurrection Garden Preparation Sunday.

We can't wait to use this as a centerpiece for our Sunday dinner!

They love church so much.

Here's another for our handholding at the library series.

Sunday felt like May; it felt like spring fever and senioritis and glory.

I had a rough time going back to work.

I got to sit at my ease on a park bench while Miles read one of our new library books to Adele. Magic.

Our library's garden, simple as it is, is one of our favorite spots in town.

We had a merry frolic on Sunday evening, and I could soak in just a little more of this very alive weekend.

Miles took this one.

There's nothing like spring after all for coming back to life.

Speaking of resurrection...

We are expecting a beautiful conclusion to Holy Week, starting with a visit from Grandpa Jim! To be continued...