Leaf fall and loss

It seems like yesterday I was taking this picture at Winslow's playground and enjoying a summery warm day.  But as Pearl has said, we've skipped directly from summer to winter this month.  It's been . . . abrupt.

But last weekend, we found ourselves hiking at Letchworth in the 45 degrees and rain. The leaves are turning, yes, but slowly.  A few trees here and there stand out, yellow or orange or red, but most are stubbornly green. It's still beautiful. 


I'm sure I've been to Letchworth before, as a child.  But I have no memory of it.  So, it was a pleasant surprise to turn the corner and see the breathtaking canyon and the busy waterfalls.  We had a three mile hike! 

Bundled up . . . it's a proper fall at last

The kids were suitably impressed.  Miles especially; he was thrilled by the view and quite cheerful through the walk in the rain.  

Adele struggled. Her legs are still the shortest by far, and around mile 3 she really broke down.  It took a lot of improvised Harry Potter trivia to keep my little Ravenclaw walking.






















Miles only required some songs and company.  He was a cheerful hobbit.  
The waterfalls are just thrilling.  And even the mist and rain weren't miserable; it was kind of refreshing, since we were properly dressed for it.  I'm going to try to keep this mantra in mind as I transition back to this climate: "there's no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing."
We sang hobbit songs ("The Old Walking Song" and "The Merry Old Inn") and folk songs and played trivia games as we Walked. I'm glad we went. 

There really is nothing like a long walk for clearing one's head after all, and lighting one's heart.  And I have needed this.  It's been a darker month than I expected, because on October 2nd, I found out that the pregnancy I was so excited about in September had come to an end.  I miscarried without bleeding, silently, quietly.  The baby was due in May, and I had high hopes that it would come on one of the many birthdays of relatives that surrounded the due date.  I had gotten out my boxes of baby stuff again. We had some ideas for names.

As I have said to my lovely friends, who have held me up during these weeks, "to decide to have a child is to open a door.  When you open a door, you don't get to decide what comes in."  To be open to life is to be open to love and vice versa.  I had six weeks with Slightly, who I saw in two grainy ultrasounds, one with a heartbeat, one without.  I tried to communicate to her that she was wanted and loved.  But it was not to be. 

I am healed in body and I am really very sound in my mind now.  The hormones have worked their way out.  I'm so grateful for friends, for good books, for my dog, for my new old home here in Rochester, and for the fact that life goes on.  I have been here before.  When Miles was born, it was only a year after I was in that same hospital for my first loss.  I can hope to have joy like that to look forward to after this sorrow. 
 
And the world continues to be beautiful!  Trees are illuminated and I have so much to look forward to.  This weekend, for example, we're planning to attend Ithaca's Wizarding Weekend! You better believe we'll all be cosplaying and that I'll be posting pictures. 
I am reviving. 

Wedding Bells

My cousin Rebekah got married on Sunday!  She was such a beautiful bride. 
Leah's kids were an invaluable addition to the wedding party!  Abby was an usher, Matthias was the ringer bearer, and Mimi was PERFECTION as the flower girl:

Leah was the matron of honor in her beautiful blue dress: 
The reception was a marvelous party.  Long live DJs and colored lights, cash bars and the Cha-Cha Slide.  I will never stop enjoying wedding receptions.  I shall know I am truly old if I ever do. 

With sights like this, who can feel old?  

(Abby danced like two dances and then read throughout the rest of the reception.  I respect this heartily.)

 Jon and Mimi have a special relationship.  She recently accepted me a Person Who Can Be Hugged, and I think I owe it almost entirely to Jon.  
My green dress I ordered online fit!..mostly 
We had a babysitter and it was a rare and excellent date, as well as a meaningful family occasion. Jon and I don't get that many opportunities to go out dancing anymore.  Life provides joy like this only sporadically. It's important to live these opportunities thoroughly.    
To life! To love! and to family! Cheers, everyone. 

All aboard the school bus

We are all back to school now, in our various ways. Jon, of course, has been working since June.  But classes have started at Geneseo, and at RIT (so I'm now on my full-time hours), and at Rush Henrietta Public Schools! We said goodbye to summer by saying goodbye to the sunflower farm on Calkins Road.  I wish we'd caught it in its prime, but it still looked extremely picturesque.   


We moved into our new house on August 31st.  I WILL have pictures of the inside.  I WILL.  I keep waiting for it to be all clean, attractive, pictures hung, and I just have to accept that with so little time between our move and the start of school and work, it's just not going to be where I want it before maybe next summer.  So I'll show imperfect pictures, soon.

And then, on the 4th of September,

Her backpack request.  She says she's a Ravenclaw.  

 
....it was time to board the bus! Adele was gleeful; she's never ridden a bus to school before.



Because both kids go to different schools, they start at different times. Adele boards her bus at 7:15. Miles? 8:43!
This is his face when he doesn't have to get up and get dressed at 6:00!

He's NOT a morning person, so this later bus is actually suiting him, even though it's been a bit inconvenient for us.  As a result of his late bus, for example, I had to ask to have shifts at work starting after 9:15.  Since I was starting the semester late and can't be a chooser, I ended up with quite a late schedule.  It's 12:30-9 Mondays and Tuesdays, 11-8 Wednesdays, 10-7 Thursdays, and 9:15-4:15 Fridays.  This has . . . its positives and negatives.  But we're making it work.

Anyways.  Miles strode confidently into his first day of school.

Look at how long legged he's getting!!

They continue to enjoy school, Miles in Miss Fish's 4th grade and Adele in Ms. Ingram's 1st grade classes.  They have made a few friends, though none who seem terribly important to them yet.  I suppose I'll have to wait for parent teacher conferences to know more, but all seems well.  Homework is getting done, and Miles goes on his first field trip this Thursday. 

Meanwhile, I'm working two jobs!  In the afternoons and events, I make those transcripts at RIT; in the early mornings, I teach Chinese kids through VIP kid!  I have yet to get the first paycheck; I expect it in early October.  But it's a legitimate and enjoyable side hustle for me.  Here's my crude classroom; I hope to make it better over time. 

We have been having fewer outings, but we did get to the Strong Museum again (can't let that membership go to waste!) a couple weeks ago.  This time, we went to the butterfly garden!  What a peaceful and transcendent experience that was.  

Even more transcendent (but decidedly less peaceful) was our date to see Eddie Izzard!  He actually came to Rochester, NY, in person!  Jon and I had a fabulous date, laughing and enjoying his and each other's company.
 
We saw some friends after the show, and later found out that several other people I know were there.  Rochester has provided some phenomenal opportunities to run into people I haven't seen in years, and to feel known and recognized, and to connect some lines from my childhood into adulthood in really lovely ways.  Last week, at the movies, I ran into a girl who was my best friend when I was 4-5 years old, back on Shadbush Way.  She recognized me immediately, though it's been since high school since I've seen her.  I found this so touching.  After being new in town over and over for so many years, it's deeply satisfying to be recognized on sight by people I have loved. 


There was a fall festival at Tinker Park a couple weeks ago.  Miles and Adele were a bit cranky, but they really enjoyed the opportunity to walk the labyrinth, hear their favorite babysitter's folk band play, drink cider, press apples (both got to try it!) and take a wagon ride behind two handsome horses 
I'm so thrilled to be up here in Western NY, having a proper Autumn again at last.